The Apocalypse: When it came, it came with bells
December 2154: This diary entry was found during an archaeological dig in which the cause of the 2014 apocalypse was investigated and eventually discovered. NAME: PHIL WATSON ALIAS: WHITE PUDDING WEAPON OF CHOICE: SARCASM LOCATION: UNKNOWN It has been twenty four hours since the apocalypse. That’s 1440 minutes, counting all 86,400 seconds as if each … Continue reading
An ode to thievery, straight hair and a lost pen
What follows here is a truer than true story of Christmas misery and yuletide farce that really belongs in a terrifyingly well-written Shane Black movie. My family enjoys a good old fake Christmas. Now I don’t mean this in the Jehovah’s Witness, bullshit sense but a much more logical one. But, you know, still fake. … Continue reading
Christmas is ok – Jeremy Kyle told me.
I like Christmas. It’s a fairly good time of year. Next to other times, like every single solitary Monday for instance, it rates pretty highly. As I’m fully into my thirtieth year I have started to notice that whilst all the innocence disappeared when I was a child it is being replaced by unadulterated hatred. … Continue reading
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